Managing Hearsay

Submitted by Hugh Butler
in
Manager Tools Trinity
BLUF: How do I give effective feedback on behaviour I hear about which may or may not be true? I have two directs who dislike each other intently. One day per week, due to rotating schedules, they have to work together in close proximity. Each week, I get visited by one and then the other with tales of woe, usually along the lines of "Well, she said/did this...", and the other chimes in with "Well, she said/did that...". I have no observable behaviours upon which to base feedback, and the two stories almost always contradict each other. Based upon previous performance, I lean towards one being more of an instigator than the other, but she also is the more productive. I know M & M counsel against putting them both in a room and banging their heads together (can you tell I used to teach?), but that's the direction I am heading in. Help!!
Submitted by Brandon Franklin on Friday September 12th, 2008 1:08 pm

[quote="hyubdoo23"]BLUF: How do I give effective feedback on behaviour I hear about which may or may not be true?

I have two directs who dislike each other intently. One day per week, due to rotating schedules, they have to work together in close proximity. Each week, I get visited by one and then the other with tales of woe, usually along the lines of "Well, she said/did this...", and the other chimes in with "Well, she said/did that...". I have no observable behaviours upon which to base feedback, and the two stories almost always contradict each other. Based upon previous performance, I lean towards one being more of an instigator than the other, but she also is the more productive.

I know M & M counsel against putting them both in a room and banging their heads together (can you tell I used to teach?), but that's the direction I am heading in.

Help!![/quote]

Can I give you some feedback? When you come to me with problems working with your associate, I worry about your ability to deal with individuals professionally while under stress and handle difficult customers. What do you think you could do differently?

Could I give you some more feedback? When you say "such and such", even when the other may have started it, it's unprofessional. You don't get to stop behaving professionally just because someone else does. What do you think you could do differently?

Submitted by Inactive Membe… on Friday September 12th, 2008 1:57 pm

Brandon's probably right on the money, and I'll tell you why:

I'm wondering if the only problem here is that they're talking to YOU. I don't think you mentioned that they're confronting one another...And although you said one is more productive than the other, you're not saying there's a performance issue here.

So the only "problem" that needs fixing is that they're each coming to you and complaining about the other. And if that's so, then Brandon's given a great suggestion....

-Hugh

Submitted by Hugh Butler on Friday September 12th, 2008 2:05 pm

True. There isn't much of a performance issue, apart from time wasted in my office complaining about each other.

Submitted by Inactive Membe… on Friday September 12th, 2008 2:11 pm

Then stop enabling it.

(Sorry - that's blunter than I meant - it's just that you have a role in this too, because you've allowed them to talk to you about it. So don't smack 'em down too hard, because it might seem hypocritical...).

Remember, it's all about effectiveness, and it's all about behaviours. So, what you want to eliminate is any ineffective behaviours.

-Hugh