How should a co worker who lies and attacks another unjustified be handled?

Submitted by Dan Z
in
Career Management

 My fiance is dealing with a co worker who appears to be lying about a few things she has done. The guy is a known trouble maker, but she feels the need to "defend" herself. She now has proof the guy was lying and will present to the director. 

The director has already spoken to the guy about issues so it is not a new situation. My fiance thinks she could go to HR if things don't get better with the guy.

My advice to her is to drop it and let her boss handle it as the guy is known to be a problem. If she continues to spend her time gathering evidence, presenting to her boss, going to HR, etc, etc., pretty soon she will become the problem.

I've seen this happen in the past with her and she doesn't seem to understand that at some point you drop it and hope the other person's reputation combined with your good reputation will not have a negative effect on your career. Of course she's afraid that the "higher ups" who don't know her will get a bad impression, even if unwarranted.

So, bottom line question, am I right to tell her to let it go or should she fight and report every time the guy attacks her?

Thanks for the "feedback"!

Dan

Submitted by Dave Piedrahita on Wednesday February 29th, 2012 2:47 am

 Let it go.  When you engage with those types of people you're lowering yourself to that level.  Defensive behavior gives the impression that there's something to defend. Ignore it. Keep calm & carry on.

Submitted by Jane Cook on Wednesday February 29th, 2012 7:08 am

I also agree she should let it go.

If she has presented the info to the director and they've said they will deal with it, then to go to HR would to be to go behind the director's back. Doing this in itself will damage her relationship with "higher-ups", as they will get to hear about it.
The best way to come out of this looking good is to trust the director to deal with it and to focus on her job and to be the best she can be at that. If she consistently meets and exceeds her goals, everyone will recognise her for the right reasons.

Good luck,
Jane

 

Submitted by Dan Z on Thursday March 1st, 2012 3:00 am

 Thanks to both of you for giving me piece of mind about my advice to her. I somewhat understand her concern that the higher ups who don't know her work will have a negative impression, but she has a good boss and I'm sure he will let the higher ups know about what's going on. Dan